Fostering The Love In Kansas

9/12/2015 Here is what I've learned in 12 days of being a foster mom: 1. Love means ordering chicken and green beans and all I get are green beans. 2. Pushing your toddler to the edge of madness gives me an hour of quiet time as he passes out from exhaustion on the drive home. 3. IKEA is more fun with a toddler. 4. When he trusts you enough to let you wash his hair, celebrate. 5. Knowing full well, I'm getting more out of the Disney channel on Pandora than he is. The other list item I neglected to add was that he sat on the potty.  While he really didn't do anything, he was willing.  We celebrated with a dance and a laugh.  And I may have taken a few pictures and sent them out to about 20 people.  He looked so proud of himself.  Again, it takes a village. 

9/12/2015 Today was heartbreaking for not only Little Man but also my Dad.  My mom and dad had been planning a trip to Ireland and Scotland for months (really years) and when Little Man came into our lives, my dad had serious thoughts about being away from him for 10 days.  I honestly don't know who was the saddest about it. Little Man and I drove Pa Pa and Amee to Kansas City to hop a flight.  Before though, we decided to grab lunch.  While the three adults loved the salads and stuff at Sweet Tomato, my picky eater was having none of it.  Of course, this didn't stop the grandparents from loading up his plate because he says YES to everything when they ask if he wants to try it.  I think he ate maybe a mouthful of something. I know he shoved a chocolate chip muffin down his gullet. But the proverbial icing on the cake was chocolate ice cream with chocolate sauce and chocolate sprinkles. You could actually see him start to vibrate. Payback is having ...

9/12/2015 Some of you have asked me why I call him Little Man instead of his name and put stars over his face in pictures. Because he is in the foster care system, I am not allowed to show his likeness on social media or have his name published.  I can share pictures and name through other means but cannot over social media. This is incredibly hard for me since my job is social media and I am a huge picture taker.  But I also know that people can use things against foster families and I do not want to cause Little Man any stress. S is tiny....for being 5 years old, he is barely 30 pounds, not a lick of fat on him and he is underdeveloped physically, emotionally and mentally.  He is still in diapers.  His speech is extremely hard to understand if you don't live with him 24x7.  Little Man seemed like the best name for him.

9/11/2015 Now, I've mentioned that I don't have kids of my own and honestly, never thought I would.  So file this under text messages I never thought I'd send. The sheer joy and pride I had when I walked into his daycare and actually found him sitting on the potty AND had pooped?!?!?  It was insane.  I almost cried.  And I sent this text to like 20 people....who all then celebrated with me.  It takes a village.

9/10/2015 So Little Man was picked up for his first visitation with HER. First, I was not happy that I had to leave work early two days in a row.  And while I assumed he was going to be fed while he was gone for four hours, I was mistaken.  They chose to do the visitation over the dinner hour and had no plans to feed them.  My Little Man is over an hour away from the visitation, his siblings are 90 minutes away.  He was gone for over 4 hours and was barely fed. This is the mildest part of my concern. My biggest concern was that just before he was picked up, I was changing his diaper and talking to him about seeing his brother and sister and he was so excited.  But then, I said that he would get to see his mommy and he got sad and said "No No...too big" (which is what he says when he is upset, doesn't want to do something, or is uncomfortable). Broke my heart to put him in that car and see him leave.  I had 4 free hours, but all I could think about...

9/9/2015 So, 30 hours of training do not truly prepare you to be a foster parent.  I had no idea that I had the opportunity to be a part of the case planning for the reunification of Little Man and his family.  I got a letter in the mail, telling me time and date.  Now I did not have to attend.  But I wanted to see HER face.  I wanted to hear HER talk. I wanted HER to see me.  If someone had my kid, I would want to see them and hear them talk and see my face. I drove an hour for the meeting.  While this was not a big deal for me, it did require that I leave work around noon. I won't go into detail, my thoughts on HER.  None of that matters and is highly steeped in bias. What I will talk to you about is how helpless I felt and how I feel that the system is not there for the children.  I have expressed some concerns about how Little Man's behavior is, how he has physical issues, and possible further abuse not discussed before.  His...

9/8/2015 By request, here is what I have learned being a foster mom for a week and a day: 1. While there can be really really really bad days (yesterday was one), the next day can be perfect. 2. Consistency and structure really do help. 3. Blue bubble baths can totally tame the wildest child. 4. A dry washcloth can help a little one overcome the fear of water on their face. 5. Having 'grandparents' that adore them is a huge thing for a kiddo who wants to be loved. 6. Being called mommy is still really awesome. I know he is calling me mommy because it's a way for him to establish roles in his life right now.  But it really feels wonderful to have someone to love and to be loved.  I think I spent the last few years waking up and getting out of bed only because it was what was expected of me. Now, I have a purpose and a reason. Is that a good enough reason to take on a child that has such a need for love?  I hope so! ...