I'm Not Dead
So, I know it's been awhile and while I have a ton of excuses, that's all they are...excuses.
Little Man is doing wonderful. I've gotten him enrolled at a new after school day care program that I really like. We've had a few bumps but that is to be expected. He has transitioned to that very well. I'm really happy with how well he did and how they are providing for him. But can we just talk about how expensive daycare is?
I'm lucky because KVC/DCF subsidies my daycare and I only have to pay the difference. But I don't know how other families do it. It's totally worth it to have my kid looked after but even the difference I pay is a lot per month to me as a single person.
We officially hit the 6-month mark and I have to admit that it seems like he's always been here but then I also am amazed how much he has changed in 6 months. He's getting bigger, he's getting a personality and sense of humor and his comfort level is immense. He starts soccer after Easter and I think he's going to really enjoy it.
We have court next week to gauge the progress of mom. While I've heard from a few people that things are moving towards termination, it may still be awhile or not. Its really up to the judge and there is no way to gauge which way she'll go.
I think, by working for KVC now, I see his case from both sides. Don't get me wrong, I still am extremely biased towards my Little Man. I do not want him going back to his bio mother. But I do see where she is trying. I just don't think it's going to be enough. Or maybe that's wishful thinking.
The new job is hard. In a lot of ways. Its time consuming, it takes a lot of my personal time and it's full of drama. And I'd like to say it's just the parents and children that are the drama but that would be a lie. I forgot how working for big companies comes with a lot of different personalities and how drama is just a given in these settings that are highly emotional. I personally hate drama but I can't seem to get away from it.
I also thought I would have an easy time keeping my personal opinions to myself or keeping boundaries up. It's hard when you see these kids that are awesome (although some are total assholes too). And then you see how they are being torn apart by either our system or their parents.
I see a lot of parents trying to do what's right for everyone. And I see parents that are doing nothing for themselves or their kids. I see a lot of drama and I see a lot of heartache. It's hard to figure out what makes people tick. Some just need the control over their kids and the situation and some love their kids to no end. It's never cut and dry to say "if they love their kids, they'd do X" because some have never been parented correctly so how can they parent? I just hope that I'm helping more than hindering.
But it has definitely given me a different perspective on my Little Man's mother and family situation. Which, I have to be honest, is not something I want to have. I want to hate her. But I see how she was brought up and I see that she is doing what she thinks is best. It's obviously not, but I see how she thinks that she is doing the best. I don't want to have empathy for her but I do. It puts me in a very weird position.
Little Man is doing wonderful. I've gotten him enrolled at a new after school day care program that I really like. We've had a few bumps but that is to be expected. He has transitioned to that very well. I'm really happy with how well he did and how they are providing for him. But can we just talk about how expensive daycare is?
I'm lucky because KVC/DCF subsidies my daycare and I only have to pay the difference. But I don't know how other families do it. It's totally worth it to have my kid looked after but even the difference I pay is a lot per month to me as a single person.
We officially hit the 6-month mark and I have to admit that it seems like he's always been here but then I also am amazed how much he has changed in 6 months. He's getting bigger, he's getting a personality and sense of humor and his comfort level is immense. He starts soccer after Easter and I think he's going to really enjoy it.
We have court next week to gauge the progress of mom. While I've heard from a few people that things are moving towards termination, it may still be awhile or not. Its really up to the judge and there is no way to gauge which way she'll go.
I think, by working for KVC now, I see his case from both sides. Don't get me wrong, I still am extremely biased towards my Little Man. I do not want him going back to his bio mother. But I do see where she is trying. I just don't think it's going to be enough. Or maybe that's wishful thinking.
The new job is hard. In a lot of ways. Its time consuming, it takes a lot of my personal time and it's full of drama. And I'd like to say it's just the parents and children that are the drama but that would be a lie. I forgot how working for big companies comes with a lot of different personalities and how drama is just a given in these settings that are highly emotional. I personally hate drama but I can't seem to get away from it.
I also thought I would have an easy time keeping my personal opinions to myself or keeping boundaries up. It's hard when you see these kids that are awesome (although some are total assholes too). And then you see how they are being torn apart by either our system or their parents.
I see a lot of parents trying to do what's right for everyone. And I see parents that are doing nothing for themselves or their kids. I see a lot of drama and I see a lot of heartache. It's hard to figure out what makes people tick. Some just need the control over their kids and the situation and some love their kids to no end. It's never cut and dry to say "if they love their kids, they'd do X" because some have never been parented correctly so how can they parent? I just hope that I'm helping more than hindering.
But it has definitely given me a different perspective on my Little Man's mother and family situation. Which, I have to be honest, is not something I want to have. I want to hate her. But I see how she was brought up and I see that she is doing what she thinks is best. It's obviously not, but I see how she thinks that she is doing the best. I don't want to have empathy for her but I do. It puts me in a very weird position.
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