Fostering The Love In Kansas

9/25/2015 So after a very long night of no sleep and many many tears....I got a call around 2:45 this afternoon, telling me that Little Man is staying. Apparently the kinship family thought Little Man was in a group home. When they found out he was in a foster home, they asked if it would be a good idea if he was moved and Little Man's worker told them she thought he was doing well with me. So the kinship home decided to not take him.  I am so happy that his worker felt strongly enough to tell them that she thought it was a bad idea to move him and that he was doing so well with me. I also found out that the bio mom is no longer allowed access to the kids.  I wasn't told why and I can't ask.  Visitation will most likely be moved to every other week because the grandfather isn't able to get off work every week and he's the one that's been making the visitations lately. Little Man asks about his siblings on a regular basis.  But the last visitation, when h...

I have been a foster mom for 23 days.  Those 23 days have been good, bad and some have been really ugly. Some of the good ones were days where Little Man and I did absolutely nothing but just be with each other and giggle and explore our connection. Some of the bad days were because he was angry or sad or just plain scared and didn't know how to deal with those emotions so he acted out. The really ugly ones haven't been about him at all.  Rather, it's about how the system is ugly and cruel and not put in place for the betterment of the child. Today I was told that he will most likely be removed.  Not because he hasn't flourished, built relationships and started healing.  But because the family that they will place him with are kin and so won't be paid the daily rate from DCF. While I knew the chances of him going back to his family where high and I knew that I needed to prepare myself.  What I wasn't prepared for was that the system put in place to ens...

9/20/2015 I've really had to think hard about what to write about the first home visit.  I have a lot of thoughts going around in my head and I didn't want to verbally vomit all over this blog the day it happened so I've had some time to think about it. Friday the 18th Little Man's worker and my worker came to the house.  This will happen once a month until the end of god damn time. The point of this is to make sure I don't have him locked up or am using him to create couture clothing in a sweatshop.  Of course, while they were there he decides to have a complete meltdown and I had to put him in timeout. Little Man loves pretty girls.  Besides my friend Fi, he was flirting and hanging all over his worker. I think part of it is because she's there when there is visitation with his mom and siblings but also because he sees a pretty young girl (that's code for someone he can manipulate).  Well, apparently he tried to hit her when he took her into his ro...