Fostering The Love In Kansas

Yesterday was court for Little Man. And it was a permanency hearing so I honestly thought we would be moving forward.  Instead....the unthinkable happened. First, I was made to leave the court room because his bio mom's lawyer said I had no right to be there. Then, it when on for over 30 minutes when it has never gone on that long. And the GAL wouldn't tell me much other than we go back in October but that it didn't go well. So, here is what I know.  Mom adamantly denies drinking during any of her pregnancies and demanded to call the doctor that diagnosed 2 of her 3 kids with Fetal Alcohol Syndrom (Little Man is in the process of being diagnosed and even his case manager says "he, definitely, has it"). So the judge has required that mom be allowed to call the doctor and talk to them about it. What wasn't said but is implied is that after October 4th, there is no reason to not send Little Man and his siblings home to her. As a matter of fact, all visits a...

In this crazy business of fostering (and definitely in foster to adopt), there are no certainties.  Never beleive, for a second, anything is FOR SURE.  Not until the ink is dry on the decree. I'm still trying to process what happened yesterday.  What was said.  I feel like I've shut down a bit because I don't want to believe it. Little Man and I had our monthly meeting with his case manager.  I'll be honest, I've gotten a bit cocky about the future with Little Man.  We are set to go to termination and I've started making plans.  Which I know I should never ever do. I was told yesterday that his case manager is recommending that Little Man and his siblings be sent home by the end of the year. Nevermind that she is mentally not capable of supporting and challenging three kids. Nevermind that she can't financially support herself, let alone another 3 children. Nevermind that I have fallen so deeply in love with my Little Man that...

9/12/2015 Today was heartbreaking for not only Little Man but also my Dad.  My mom and dad had been planning a trip to Ireland and Scotland for months (really years) and when Little Man came into our lives, my dad had serious thoughts about being away from him for 10 days.  I honestly don't know who was the saddest about it. Little Man and I drove Pa Pa and Amee to Kansas City to hop a flight.  Before though, we decided to grab lunch.  While the three adults loved the salads and stuff at Sweet Tomato, my picky eater was having none of it.  Of course, this didn't stop the grandparents from loading up his plate because he says YES to everything when they ask if he wants to try it.  I think he ate maybe a mouthful of something. I know he shoved a chocolate chip muffin down his gullet. But the proverbial icing on the cake was chocolate ice cream with chocolate sauce and chocolate sprinkles. You could actually see him start to vibrate. Payback is having ...

9/10/2015 So Little Man was picked up for his first visitation with HER. First, I was not happy that I had to leave work early two days in a row.  And while I assumed he was going to be fed while he was gone for four hours, I was mistaken.  They chose to do the visitation over the dinner hour and had no plans to feed them.  My Little Man is over an hour away from the visitation, his siblings are 90 minutes away.  He was gone for over 4 hours and was barely fed. This is the mildest part of my concern. My biggest concern was that just before he was picked up, I was changing his diaper and talking to him about seeing his brother and sister and he was so excited.  But then, I said that he would get to see his mommy and he got sad and said "No No...too big" (which is what he says when he is upset, doesn't want to do something, or is uncomfortable). Broke my heart to put him in that car and see him leave.  I had 4 free hours, but all I could think about...

9/9/2015 So, 30 hours of training do not truly prepare you to be a foster parent.  I had no idea that I had the opportunity to be a part of the case planning for the reunification of Little Man and his family.  I got a letter in the mail, telling me time and date.  Now I did not have to attend.  But I wanted to see HER face.  I wanted to hear HER talk. I wanted HER to see me.  If someone had my kid, I would want to see them and hear them talk and see my face. I drove an hour for the meeting.  While this was not a big deal for me, it did require that I leave work around noon. I won't go into detail, my thoughts on HER.  None of that matters and is highly steeped in bias. What I will talk to you about is how helpless I felt and how I feel that the system is not there for the children.  I have expressed some concerns about how Little Man's behavior is, how he has physical issues, and possible further abuse not discussed before.  His...