Fostering The Love In Kansas

Well, I’m never sure how court is going to go. And a lot of instances it just continues. Just when you think something is going to happen, the exact opposite happens. Had court for Mr. T yesterday afternoon. Went in being told that the certain things would happen, namely that termination would be filed on mom.  As I walked into the courtroom, I just had a feeling that continuation was most likely going to happen and nothing else. I mean, we drug out Little Man for 3 years. Walked out being escorted by sheriff’s deputies because mom was threatening me. Termination is scheduled to begin in 45 days. Case plan has changed to solely adoption. Most likely, in or around September of 2019, I will be a mother of 2. I’m going to be done with foster care. I’m going to be able to drop foster mom from my vocabulary and just say, MOM. I can say their name on social media and inundate you with images of their gorgeous faces. But I also know nothing is certain until the ink is dry. I’m r...

I think I've said it before but I am not a patient person.  And the waiting is honestly killing me.  To make things worse, doubt enters my mind all the time and it sits heavy on me. There are 19 days left to wait while Little Man is listed on a website with his siblings.  After that, the adoption process starts.  I have been filling out paperwork and sending in and they have been processing so I know that the clock doesn't actually start after the next 19 days.  But we're still looking at probably 10-12 months before it's all done.   I know I need to be patient but my overthinking mind gets the best of me and I start worrying.  What if I'm not approved?  What if someone else steps up and wants him?  What if family finally decides (after 3 years) they want him? And then today...I find out that Mr. T is going to adoption also.  So all the paperwork I'm doing for Little Man will cover Mr. T.  In the next 10-12 mon...

It's definitely not the time to start celebrating but things are starting to wind down in the case of Little Man.  His dad relinquished his rights several weeks ago.  I'm both happy and sad about this. Sad because he didn't even try to work the case.  He didn't ask to be in contact in the future. He just walked away.  He genuinely showed no interest in his kids. But I also see the happiness in this because IF he hadn't, we would have had the case drug out for another year.  Little Man would have so much more trauma around his father.  There would have been more behaviors and therapy needed.  I also see that his father knew he could never provide for the three kids.  He has 3 felonies, he was getting clean, and he was in a treatment facility.  He recognized that it was in the kids best interest.  So I respect that. Little Man's mom is refusing to relinquish.  She wants the court to work for the removal of her rights. ...

Hope is such a slippery slope.  On the one hand, you want that hope. You need to cling to the hope because otherwise, what's the point. But on the other hand, to have that hope is to live in a world of unknown and fear.  That's the world I'm living in now. My Little Man's siblings are living with kin.  The cousins of their father. My Little Man's father. These kin are big scary monsters to me because I envision them abusing my Little Man. These were the people I sent him to in November for a few hours to visit his siblings and he came back with signs of sexual abuse.  I didn't want to think it was his siblings that may have done that to him. I wanted to believe the monsters were adults. But I digress....the reason I mention the cousins is because they reached out to me a few weeks ago to discuss the case. I'll be honest, I've been living in denial for a long time after the visit from his case workers in June. This impending doom that he's poten...

Back on March 1st, there was a court session.  This is typical as after the first 6 months of children being in care, you have to do a court hearing to see where it's going for the next several months. At the hearing on the 1st, the state and Little Man's GAL asked for termination.  As in terminating parental rights. On both parents. 6 months is a little early for this, in my experience. For Little Man's dad, I could see this as he's in jail, will be for quite awhile, and had walked out on his mom months ago. But Little Man's mom has been kinda working the case plan. I didn't attend as I assumed there would be a continuation for at least 4 months.  But, no...the judge was asked by mom's lawyer for a continuation and she gave them 28 days. March 29, I walked into the courtroom assuming they would be given another couple of months but the state submitted a petition for termination that morning and the judge granted it and set the date for termination tra...

9/20/2015 I've really had to think hard about what to write about the first home visit.  I have a lot of thoughts going around in my head and I didn't want to verbally vomit all over this blog the day it happened so I've had some time to think about it. Friday the 18th Little Man's worker and my worker came to the house.  This will happen once a month until the end of god damn time. The point of this is to make sure I don't have him locked up or am using him to create couture clothing in a sweatshop.  Of course, while they were there he decides to have a complete meltdown and I had to put him in timeout. Little Man loves pretty girls.  Besides my friend Fi, he was flirting and hanging all over his worker. I think part of it is because she's there when there is visitation with his mom and siblings but also because he sees a pretty young girl (that's code for someone he can manipulate).  Well, apparently he tried to hit her when he took her into his ro...

9/9/2015 So, 30 hours of training do not truly prepare you to be a foster parent.  I had no idea that I had the opportunity to be a part of the case planning for the reunification of Little Man and his family.  I got a letter in the mail, telling me time and date.  Now I did not have to attend.  But I wanted to see HER face.  I wanted to hear HER talk. I wanted HER to see me.  If someone had my kid, I would want to see them and hear them talk and see my face. I drove an hour for the meeting.  While this was not a big deal for me, it did require that I leave work around noon. I won't go into detail, my thoughts on HER.  None of that matters and is highly steeped in bias. What I will talk to you about is how helpless I felt and how I feel that the system is not there for the children.  I have expressed some concerns about how Little Man's behavior is, how he has physical issues, and possible further abuse not discussed before.  His...