Fostering The Love In Kansas

9/25/2015 So after a very long night of no sleep and many many tears....I got a call around 2:45 this afternoon, telling me that Little Man is staying. Apparently the kinship family thought Little Man was in a group home. When they found out he was in a foster home, they asked if it would be a good idea if he was moved and Little Man's worker told them she thought he was doing well with me. So the kinship home decided to not take him.  I am so happy that his worker felt strongly enough to tell them that she thought it was a bad idea to move him and that he was doing so well with me. I also found out that the bio mom is no longer allowed access to the kids.  I wasn't told why and I can't ask.  Visitation will most likely be moved to every other week because the grandfather isn't able to get off work every week and he's the one that's been making the visitations lately. Little Man asks about his siblings on a regular basis.  But the last visitation, when h...

9/24/2014 I have to admit that I hoped this wouldn't actually happen.  That something would happen and fate would change the course of actions set in motion. October 1st, Little Man will be moved to Johnson County and into a kinship home.  I am given a week to prepare him.  But how do you prepare someone who just doesn't understand?  I'll ask him how his day was and every time it's "yes." Did you eat lunch? "yes" Did you take a nap? "yes" (no he didn't) Did you poopy on the toilet? "yes" Did you ride in a helicopter? "yes" Did you see a monkey? "yes" Not that Little Man isn't a smart dude, he just doesn't understand the basic things.  He doesn't see things the way most people see them.  How do you make someone like that understand that he won't come back home when he goes to visitation next week?  And how do I deal with knowing all of this and not be affected by it? So I asked ...

I have been a foster mom for 23 days.  Those 23 days have been good, bad and some have been really ugly. Some of the good ones were days where Little Man and I did absolutely nothing but just be with each other and giggle and explore our connection. Some of the bad days were because he was angry or sad or just plain scared and didn't know how to deal with those emotions so he acted out. The really ugly ones haven't been about him at all.  Rather, it's about how the system is ugly and cruel and not put in place for the betterment of the child. Today I was told that he will most likely be removed.  Not because he hasn't flourished, built relationships and started healing.  But because the family that they will place him with are kin and so won't be paid the daily rate from DCF. While I knew the chances of him going back to his family where high and I knew that I needed to prepare myself.  What I wasn't prepared for was that the system put in place to ens...