Fostering The Love In Kansas

I talked about you today....for like the millionth, hundredth, billionth time.  I talked to a room full of people about why I wanted to be your mommy. Don't get me wrong, I wanted to be anyone's mommy.  But now, after 614 days, I want to be YOUR mommy. The venue - Liberty Hall in Lawrence, KS I talked about how hard it was to come to terms with not being a mother.  How I didn't feel like I fit into a preconceived notion of what a mother was. And the whole time, I saw your crooked smile...your floppy hair that is starting to look suspiciously like a mullet...the way you look at me out of the corner of your eye when you are picking your nose.... And I told them how smart you were and how big you are getting.  I think they could hear the pride in my voice when I talked about how funny you are and how nice you look when you dress yourself. Today I talked about how much I struggle to wear the title Mommy with you but you never struggle to call me ...

I took a deep breath and decided to step outside my comfort zone and tried out for a chance to participate in Listen to you Mother .  This is a program that does several different stories written and performed by mothers of any type.  I was not chosen but I thought I would give you all my story.  This is what I gave to the director and I was pretty proud of what I had come up with. I am not a mother I have always had these dreams of having six boys. Ones that came home every Christmas with their families and their kids. I envisioned all these kids, running up and down the staircase, stockings by the fire and Pictionary in the evenings. My boys would be mama’s boys. They love their mom and they love their dad.   We sang in the kitchen.   We had snowball fights in the backyard.   We’d go on small vacations because 6 boys are expensive. But I am not a mother. I will never be a mother. When I found out I couldn't have kids. I told myself that...