Fostering The Love In Kansas

Celebrating Thanksgiving is always the time to reflect on all the things in our lives we're grateful for. Being a parent, there is always something we're grateful for. Our kids, their health, our health(ish), the love we have in our lives. But what I never thought about being grateful for was the "YES". I've always been someone that makes changes quickly. I make decisions quickly and sometimes even without much thought. But when it comes to big, life-changing, decisions I agonize over them, ask everyone their opinion, agonize some more, etc. But ultimately, I already knew what the answer was - deep down in my gut. The idea to start fostering came to me one day and it wasn't even discussed with anyone. I reached out to our local agency and asked for information. I said YES the minute they asked if I wanted to attend classes. No hesitation. When I started fostering, my plan was always to get an older child. I didn’t want a baby. I didn’t want diaper...

It's definitely not the time to start celebrating but things are starting to wind down in the case of Little Man.  His dad relinquished his rights several weeks ago.  I'm both happy and sad about this. Sad because he didn't even try to work the case.  He didn't ask to be in contact in the future. He just walked away.  He genuinely showed no interest in his kids. But I also see the happiness in this because IF he hadn't, we would have had the case drug out for another year.  Little Man would have so much more trauma around his father.  There would have been more behaviors and therapy needed.  I also see that his father knew he could never provide for the three kids.  He has 3 felonies, he was getting clean, and he was in a treatment facility.  He recognized that it was in the kids best interest.  So I respect that. Little Man's mom is refusing to relinquish.  She wants the court to work for the removal of her rights. ...

I'd like to report that I slept in, I had breakfast in bed served to me by two wonderful children and a manfriend.  We have lunch plans but I was given the luxury of some alone time where I can soak in the tub, have a fancy cup of coffee and maybe read. I'd like to report that but instead what has happened is this: 6:45 a.m. (A.FUCKING.M) - Little Man comes crashing into my room and plants his knee right into my bladder - jarring me out of bed immediately. 7:07 a.m. - Mr. T is screaming in his crib because he can hear with his supersonic ears, that Little Man and I are awake and doing things without him. 7:45 a.m. - Mr. T has started his breakfast and I have started Little Man and I on an art project for my mother and Manfriend's mother - to be presented at lunch. 8:32 a.m. - first breakfast over and art project just about done - Mr. T takes first dump of the day and requires a bath.  I've started a load of laundry 8:55 a.m. - second breakfast has begun for ...

So, back in June, I started talking to a gentleman. Usually, for me, talking does not equate dating. Because dating in your 40's and using on-line services usually, equates douche bags. But for some reason, this guy got through the defenses and we've been exclusive for over 4 months now. So this brought about a whole new complexity to being a foster parent. I mean, how do you have a conversation with someone about the fact that "I can go on a date or two with you but I hope you know that eventually, you're going to have to go through a very intrusive background check, along with your kids (all of them)." But he did it.  Everything I've asked him to do, he's done.  Every horror story I've tried to scare him off with has been met with a nod and "OK" And Little Man has been pretty good with it.  We've had some regression on anger and the need for constant attention.  But he also has a new man to look up to.  He's become very op...