Fostering The Love In Kansas

So, daily routines are such a necessity with us.  Some of them are not as fun as others.  But the one that I have started to kind of get a kick out of is what I've started calling "the pat down". Each day, after school, I have to shake down my 5-year-old. 'Assume the position Little Man'. This was today's booty. Each morning, I send them back in a baggie in his backpack with an apology. Other routines are not as fun....like making him sit on the potty every time he eats something, as soon as he wakes up, etc...I've got to believe it's going to get better but right now, he just sees it as one more thing he has to do...we repeat (repeatedly) "if you need to go potty, what do you say?" "Mommy, toilet!" But he never does.  It's great to say you'll do it but to actually get him to think about doing it, is another thing.

Now, I may be overreacting a bit but I am freaking out about this.  I have had Little Man almost 2 months now and he will finally get to start school on Tuesday. And I'm freaking out because...you guys...he's special.  I mean, I know your kid is special but Little Man...Little Man is my special. I know I've mentioned that Little Man came with IEP's (3 to be exact) and reading through them was heartbreaking.  But what I really was concerned about was just how far behind he is. And the fact that he's not potty trained yet.  And is severely resistant to the whole concept of potty training. And I seem to be the only one concerned about him attending kindergarten.  I know, on an intellectual level, that this is going to be good for him.  That he's going to be pushed to come out from the delayed black hole that his mother had him in. But in my heart, I also know that my Little Man is sensitive and observant.  He's going to hear the comments and teasi...

So I'd like to say that I had a naked male in my house all weekend and we did wicked things but what I really mean is a toddler that somehow found new ways to exhaust me.... My 5-year-old came to me not potty trained.  Yes, 5-years-old....it has been a battle because he really likes wearing diapers.  And I believe that sitting on the toilet was used as punishment because he would scream bloody murder when I first asked him to sit on the potty. I don't think he is not intelligent enough to get on board with potty training, but I just think he's lazy and hasn't been truly motivated to use the toilet. I've read quite a few websites, magazine articles, and books and most of them say to take the diapers away along with the clothes and just let them learn to ask to use the potty. Meaning...you don't leave the house because your toddler is buck-ass naked. I'm serious...I had a naked 5-year-old running around my house like he had invented the concept of being na...

9/12/2015 Here is what I've learned in 12 days of being a foster mom: 1. Love means ordering chicken and green beans and all I get are green beans. 2. Pushing your toddler to the edge of madness gives me an hour of quiet time as he passes out from exhaustion on the drive home. 3. IKEA is more fun with a toddler. 4. When he trusts you enough to let you wash his hair, celebrate. 5. Knowing full well, I'm getting more out of the Disney channel on Pandora than he is. The other list item I neglected to add was that he sat on the potty.  While he really didn't do anything, he was willing.  We celebrated with a dance and a laugh.  And I may have taken a few pictures and sent them out to about 20 people.  He looked so proud of himself.  Again, it takes a village. 

9/12/2015 Some of you have asked me why I call him Little Man instead of his name and put stars over his face in pictures. Because he is in the foster care system, I am not allowed to show his likeness on social media or have his name published.  I can share pictures and name through other means but cannot over social media. This is incredibly hard for me since my job is social media and I am a huge picture taker.  But I also know that people can use things against foster families and I do not want to cause Little Man any stress. S is tiny....for being 5 years old, he is barely 30 pounds, not a lick of fat on him and he is underdeveloped physically, emotionally and mentally.  He is still in diapers.  His speech is extremely hard to understand if you don't live with him 24x7.  Little Man seemed like the best name for him.

9/11/2015 Now, I've mentioned that I don't have kids of my own and honestly, never thought I would.  So file this under text messages I never thought I'd send. The sheer joy and pride I had when I walked into his daycare and actually found him sitting on the potty AND had pooped?!?!?  It was insane.  I almost cried.  And I sent this text to like 20 people....who all then celebrated with me.  It takes a village.

9/9/2015 So, 30 hours of training do not truly prepare you to be a foster parent.  I had no idea that I had the opportunity to be a part of the case planning for the reunification of Little Man and his family.  I got a letter in the mail, telling me time and date.  Now I did not have to attend.  But I wanted to see HER face.  I wanted to hear HER talk. I wanted HER to see me.  If someone had my kid, I would want to see them and hear them talk and see my face. I drove an hour for the meeting.  While this was not a big deal for me, it did require that I leave work around noon. I won't go into detail, my thoughts on HER.  None of that matters and is highly steeped in bias. What I will talk to you about is how helpless I felt and how I feel that the system is not there for the children.  I have expressed some concerns about how Little Man's behavior is, how he has physical issues, and possible further abuse not discussed before.  His...