Fostering The Love In Kansas

This morning, I was reminded that Little Man is not always going to be a typical 5-year-old and some mornings are hard.  He woke up in a bad mood and non-verbal. Not sure what prompted it but I kept us to our schedule as though nothing was different. I needed him to know that the world that we have together is going to continue whether he is in the mood for it or not. He made this one day at school a few weeks ago so I put it on him and told him it was his protection from the world. I don't know if he understood it, but he held my hand tight on the walk to school and asked for a 'kiss hug' before he went in.  He hasn't let me walk him all the way to the school doors since, like day 3, so I knew he was feeling a bit vulnerable. My heart aches for the pain I see in him sometimes but I have to believe that after 85 days with me, the pain is a little bit less.  He came home in a better mood and it was made even better because we took a walk with doggy, we saw Am...

When I started this blog, I made myself a promise. A promise that I would be honest and open about all of it. So here is the cold ugly truth.  I am going to be single forever. I was single before this. Not necessarily by choice but because I'm fat, old and super picky. But now I am S-I-N-G-L-E for realsies.  In the past, if I wanted 'company * ', I could do so with little to no concerns or issues. But now...now I have a little person who is super impressionable that I have to consider.  This is the child that mimics me when we talk or as I'm doing things around him. Not as a way of sassin' but because he's watching me and listening to me for clues to how he should behave or treat others.  Not to mention, I already have a hundred-pound dog that has jealousy issues, I don't need to scar this little person with some jackwad I might bring into his life.  I feel like that's been done enough in his life and he deserves better.  This...

9/13/2015 Man, it hasn’t even been two weeks and I’m being traded in for a newer, more diverse and younger model.   Met a friend and her godson at the park and I ceased to exist. Fi has met Little Man multiple times.   Has had dinner with us, been to the house with him, shopped with us but today something triggered in Little Man. He only had eyes for Fi.   We assume it’s because she brought an adorable 2-year-old with her and he felt like he had competition.   But man…he stopped listening to me, he ran off, but he never stopped watching her. As soon as she was ready to leave, I was back in his good graces and I’m assuming, as his way of apologizing, said “come on Mom, let's go home” Time outs were also used today – two to be exact. But Little Man stayed in the spot I put him in and he knew he was in trouble.  Once because he pretended to hit the dog and that's a big NO NO.  And another because he kept running off at the park with Fi. ...

9/1/2015 Our first night was horrible....he woke up every two hours crying and screaming.  By 4 am, he had crawled into bed with me and curled up with his face in my neck.  He twitched and cried in his sleep, but he finally slept.  We both came to, blurry eyed around 10 am and struggled to assess where we both were with each other.  I offered breakfast as a way to start the day. This is a balanced meal, right? Cereal, banana, milk and trucks. He ate about 3 bites of each and was done.     S needs to expend A LOT of energy. We spent about 90 minutes at the park for our first day together. He only had 2 mini meltdowns while here.  The only way I got him to listen was by telling him I was leaving and I'd see him later.  Only then would he come to me.  But he's fearless...would crawl all over the equipment without asking for help.  Never fell until the end, of course.  Being a foster parent, I have to document a...