The Sky is Falling

Not really but I'm beginning to believe that I'm Chicken Little.  Today is court for Little Man.  We were just at court 3 weeks ago.  The reason we have it again, so soon, is because the parents are supposed to relinquish rights today.

 I've heard this before.  We've started termination trails twice.  I've had my emotions tossed around.  But I really am tired.

 I want this to be over. I think we've all come to the conclusion he won't be going back ever.  So, it's not even the thought of that that keeps me awake and emotional.  Today it's just the unknown.

 But today could make such a difference for us.  Today, we could start a new journey towards adoption.

 I'm both excited and scared. Excited because I hate this system and I'm ready to be done.  But I'm scared because it'll be done and it'll be just me and him.  And what if I mess him up, what if I hurt him worse, what if I make it worse?  I know I couldn't possibly but it's a fear that keeps me wondering if I'm making a mistake.

 But then I look back at pictures of him from day one:
All he came with
Cigarette Burn

And I realize, he's made such progress and he's so loved.

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