Guest Post: Fi's take on Fostering

While Shan is taking a break from blogging to clean the vomit off of herself and deal with a streppy Lil’ man, I, Fi, have taken it upon myself to stick my nose in her business like any good friend should and write a post for her blog.

Introductions, Hi everyone, you can call me Fi. I have been a foster aunt to Lil’ man for a little over 2 months now and a friend to Shan for about 3 years.  By far, both have been a most rewarding experience. I say this because I have had a front row seat to watching Shan and bub fall in love with each other.

I remember when Shan first solidified her plans to go through with the foster parent training. She often told me about her classes and what she was learning and what she expected out of the experience. As most things go, the training still didn’t prepare her for what she was about to go through. I knew that I was going to be there for her, but I have the advantage of leaving, clocking out and saying bye-bye. 

Shan does not. When Lil man came into her life, she went on the clock, full-time with no vacation time or sick time available. I wanna take the time to highlight how much change has happened in Lil man, how amazing Shan is doing and how well she has adapted to motherhood. I know Shan will not approve of me gushing about her, but she can suck it up for one post.

• Being a foster parent is scary. You have no idea what type of baggage comes wrapped up in kid sized package and every day you have to piece the puzzle together and hope your love and work will help heal the kid if they have issues. Little man has got probs, but the glint in his eye glows brighter and the smile on his face grows bigger the more he is in Shan’s care.

• The first week I met Lil man, he could barely look me in the eye. Now I get several “hug kiss” as he calls them whenever he sees me. He is thriving under her genuine love and affection. 

• He is smart as a whip and I am not just saying this because I am biased in his favor, but even with his developmental issues, the kid is smart and Shan encourages it. She fights for him to get the care and education he needs from a difficult and often frustrating system. 

• I get multiple texts in the day concerning his care, education and overall wellbeing. Shan is always looking for ways to improve Lil man’s life. 

• He has a forever home with her, and us. When the threat of him being removed to a kinship home was looming over us all. We were devastated. This is always a possibility with foster care and Shan tried to be strong, but the void his absence would cause was intangible.

Like I said before, fostering is not easy, but I think that if done with the right intentions, the outcome far outweighs any challenges one might face. I can say this comfortably after only 2 months of watching the two of them together. They are exactly what each other needed and I am honored to watch their relationship unfold.