Fostering The Love In Kansas

I have been a foster parent to Little Man for one year today.  Here is what I have learned being a foster parent for 365 days. 1. This will never get easier but it is worth it. 2. Life changes when you assume it's going to be just you and this other little person. Enjoy it and embrace it. Because I need others and change is good. And having someone looking after me is kind of nice. 3. Denial is how I am operating now but I also know that I need to face the chances of Little Man going back to his bio mother.  So I know I need help, professionally.  Getting someone to talk with and work through issues is important to my mental well-being. I shouldn't count on things just "working out" nor should I depend on my friends and family getting me through things. 4. Changes in Little Man come and go but when there are changes, they are HUGE.  The amount of vocabulary he has now, compared to a year ago (or even a month ago) is astounding.  His need to know things g...

So through this whole process, I've kind of always villanized the people that had Little Man's siblings.  They were kin to the kids (albeit distant) but didn't want my guy.  No one wanted him. Fast forward 353 days and those siblings are no longer with kin because they are so high needs.  And yet, Little Man has improved and grown....anywhoooooo So, the family that had his siblings and I have started talking a few months ago. Just before they had his siblings removed.  And I can honestly say that we are all on the same page about the bio parents not being able to handle all three kids.  And I learned a lot about the family, as a whole.  I no longer wish them ill will but I'm still very hesitant around sharing things with them.  Especially now that they no longer have a dog in this fight. Last night, I spoke with the father and we talked about some issues he's run into. He seems to have decided his goal in life is to destroy Little Man's mom ...

I saw his diagnosis instead of his face today I saw the way that he couldn't focus, I saw the way that he was out of control, I saw how he flitted from subject to subject. I didn't see my handsome little man. I didn't see the way he saw things in a light that I will never see them. I didn't see his laughter, his joy, his happiness. I saw him being a nuisance. I saw him making a spectacle of himself. I saw the embarrassment that other had for us. I'm tired. Not 'give up' tired. But definitely discouraged tired. It's a lot to deal with, on top of the foster system, working 40+ hours, maintaining a semblance of a romantic relationship and friendships (and probably failing), extra-curricular activities, and a side business. I'm failing....and hard. Even having a night to be an adult doesn't cure this exhaustion. Sleep doesn't touch it.  And yes, I know I asked to do this. This was my choice and I get that, others don't see why this shou...

Yesterday was court for Little Man. And it was a permanency hearing so I honestly thought we would be moving forward.  Instead....the unthinkable happened. First, I was made to leave the court room because his bio mom's lawyer said I had no right to be there. Then, it when on for over 30 minutes when it has never gone on that long. And the GAL wouldn't tell me much other than we go back in October but that it didn't go well. So, here is what I know.  Mom adamantly denies drinking during any of her pregnancies and demanded to call the doctor that diagnosed 2 of her 3 kids with Fetal Alcohol Syndrom (Little Man is in the process of being diagnosed and even his case manager says "he, definitely, has it"). So the judge has required that mom be allowed to call the doctor and talk to them about it. What wasn't said but is implied is that after October 4th, there is no reason to not send Little Man and his siblings home to her. As a matter of fact, all visits a...