Yet another blow

So through this whole process, I've kind of always villanized the people that had Little Man's siblings.  They were kin to the kids (albeit distant) but didn't want my guy.  No one wanted him.

 Fast forward 353 days and those siblings are no longer with kin because they are so high needs.  And yet, Little Man has improved and grown....anywhoooooo

 So, the family that had his siblings and I have started talking a few months ago. Just before they had his siblings removed.  And I can honestly say that we are all on the same page about the bio parents not being able to handle all three kids.  And I learned a lot about the family, as a whole.  I no longer wish them ill will but I'm still very hesitant around sharing things with them.  Especially now that they no longer have a dog in this fight.

 Last night, I spoke with the father and we talked about some issues he's run into. He seems to have decided his goal in life is to destroy Little Man's mom and dad.  Again, he doesn't have the 2 other kids, he just doesn't want any of them to go back to them.  While I appreciate his desire to keep the kids from going back I'm just not sure about his motives. And I'll listen to him rant but there is very little I can do in this case, other than love my boy.

 With that said, we touched on some topics from past issues.  Namely, the sexual abuse investigation I initiated in November after Little Man went to their house for a visit.  Long story short...DCF never went to them or the kids to investigate.  They closed the case because Little Man was non-verbal at that time and couldn't really substantiate the incident.  But DCF never investigated it.  NEVER INVESTIGATED IT.  How many other cases have been closed but never investigated?  How many kids have been abused and nothing has happened to their abuser?  What message are we sending out kids?

 I'm so beyond scared for what is going to happen to my Little Man in the future but I am livid and confused as to how much this system is failing children.  

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Approval

Image
Approval is a funny thing.  I don't want to think I need anyone's approval to live my life but in the foster world, approval is everything. And in adoption, there are so many things that require approval that day to day life is never normal. Approval for taking him out of state, approval to enroll him in sports, approval to get him on meds. In adoption, approval is everything.  We have to do a home study, negotiate subsidies, get approval and then start legal proceedings. In my state, adoptive resources have to go through a BIS (Best Interest Staffing) with the agency and DCF in order to be approved to adopt the child.  They look over the facts of the case, the length of time the child has been in placement, the needs of the child, and the overall stability of the adoptive resource. Today I was informed today that I was approved to adopt Little Man.  Little Man is going to be mine. We are getting closer and closer...
Read more

The B Word

Now that we are in the homestretch with the adoption of Little Man and going through the process of getting him set up with SSI and disability services, I get a lot of emails and phone calls.  Most of the time, it's just me being copied on correspondence between agencies. And most of the time, it's stuff over my head but I appreciate being kept in the loop. There has been a lot of terminologies being applied to Little Man. Some of them I have heard before, some are new.  There are some that are not news to me but some that are.  And then there are those that rankle me.  Get my blood boiling. The one that got me this morning was the B word. Little Man was described as being a burden.  He was being approved for services because he was going to be a burden on me and on society. And I saw RED... My child is not a burden.  He will never be a burden.  He's a lot of things but never a burden. He is a blessing .  He made me a mom and learn things about myself that I never k
Read more

Hold onto your pants....

Hold on folks...this is going to be a long and bumpy post....and I'm trying to not write this with too much anger. But I'll fail miserably. Tonight I received a call from my KVC worker letting me know that her director contacted her to tell her to have me take my blog down.  She made some mild accusations that I had his name on it (which I don't) and that there was his likeness up (which I have always made sure his face was covered).  They are grasping at straws. They didn't like that I was interviewed by the news, but I never said anything negative about them.  They don't like that I'm blogging about my experiences, although I've never been negative about them.  But you can bet that I will not be so kind in the future when I talk about them. My immediate, knee-jerk reaction, was to tell them to suck it.  I am not one for being told to do something...I know that this is bullying and I do not like to be bullied. The problem is, I was also told by my w
Read more