Fostering The Love In Kansas

I was 40 when I started this process. I turned 41 6 days after Little Man was dropped off at my door. This year, I turned 44 and let me tell you, being a mother to two young children in my 40’s is no joke. Parenting, in general, is hard. Parenting children while fostering is uber hard. Parenting and fostering small children in your 40’s takes a lot of determination, commitment, and ibuprofen. If I stay up past 10pm, I’m guaranteed a bad next day due to exhaustion. And in the last year, my body has decided that I need less and less sleep so my wake up times ranges from 3:30 am to 5:30 am. Incredibly rarely past 6:00 am. Add to that just the mental exhaustion from the ‘what ifs’ that come with parenting, add a layer of uncertainty with fostering, and then the needs of a kiddo with special needs and I’m an exhausted blob. Self-care is talked about a lot these days and I’d like to say I’m a big believer in it but my form of self-care waxes and wanes. Sometimes it’s turning off my l...

Today kicks off the beginning of my home study. I am both excited and terrified. Terrified because I really don't know what to expect but also because it's getting real. Don't get me wrong, this is what I want. It's always been my hope to adopt from foster care.  Little Man is my everything.  Mr. T is my bonus child that I never thought I'd have but have been incredibly blessed to get. I want this. But it's getting real. I won't have a semi-safety net to cover me if something happens. It's going to be on me. This is absolutely what I want.  But the brevity of the situation is what keeps me up at night. The biggest question I was asked and I was not prepared for is: "who will Little Man go to if something happens to you?" Who will take Little Man if I die?  What a huge question.  And I have no answer to that. I mean, there are so many people that have followed our journey and have been supportive but can I ask any of them to take on...

Here is what I have learned from being a foster parent for 1,130 days: 1. It. Never. Gets. Easier. 2. The capacity to love a child who is not yours is incomprehensible. It makes my heart feel boundless. 3. It would have been cheaper to buy a cow. 4. You don’t have to birth children to have the mama bear instinct. 5. Knowing what I know now, I’m not sure I would foster in the first place but I am eternally grateful I took this challenge and brought you all along. A week from today we find out if the agency will approve the split of Little Man and his siblings.  I will find out if we can move forward or have to hire a lawyer. The social worker submitted a 12-page letter to DCF requesting the split and all the reasons why it would be good. November 26, we go to court for Mr. T for termination. Things are happening quickly now.  I've waited so long for this and now it feels like we're in fast forward.  

Well, I’m never sure how court is going to go. And a lot of instances it just continues. Just when you think something is going to happen, the exact opposite happens. Had court for Mr. T yesterday afternoon. Went in being told that the certain things would happen, namely that termination would be filed on mom.  As I walked into the courtroom, I just had a feeling that continuation was most likely going to happen and nothing else. I mean, we drug out Little Man for 3 years. Walked out being escorted by sheriff’s deputies because mom was threatening me. Termination is scheduled to begin in 45 days. Case plan has changed to solely adoption. Most likely, in or around September of 2019, I will be a mother of 2. I’m going to be done with foster care. I’m going to be able to drop foster mom from my vocabulary and just say, MOM. I can say their name on social media and inundate you with images of their gorgeous faces. But I also know nothing is certain until the ink is dry. I’m r...

This is going to be a long one so settle in with a cup of coffee or something... With every stress comes relief, in some way or another. I'm feeling some relief after the last week. Over 60 days ago, Little Man was put up on my agencies adoption website.  The reason this happens is that he's part of a sibling set.  He's been placed with me for over 3 years and separate from his siblings that whole time.  There were MANY reasons for that but also many reasons why they shouldn't be together and were kept apart. Our state prefers children be kept together.  To the point of removing kids from families that they have been with for years and are more than willing to adopt. Which is what could happen in our case. So they have to advertise the siblings on the website in the hopes that a family (2 parent) will take all 3. September 24th was the last day of Little Man being on the adoption website for 60 days.  I woke up every day with a reminder on my phone how m...