Pulling the Trigger
This blog post started a lot differently a few days ago. I had some hope that I was going to be making a decision not based on emotion but rather one based on facts only. But after the last few days, I know that my decision has been based on both emotions and facts. But mostly, it has shown me that my gut needs to be listened to.
Lately, it has been hard. Hell, the last couple of months have been hard. And it's not because of any one thing. The biggest thing is that I haven't been able to work a full week of work for MONTHS because of Little Man. Between his therapies, school, and appointments. But the biggest is the amount of mental strain I've been feeling with him and school.
Monday I pulled Little Man from school. I will not be sending him back. This has been building and building. Jay and I have talked about what Little Man's future will look like - education-wise - once his adoption is finalized and we've always leaned towards homeschooling because he just does so much better in small groups or 1-on-1.
Legally, I'm not allowed to homeschool him while he's in foster care. I had planned on enrolling him for the 2019-2020 school year (fall only) in an online school that was considered public school until the adoption was finalized. This is hoping we'd make it until May in his brick and mortar school. But on Monday, I had to pull him. For his mental safety and mine.
We are about 90% done getting approval for him to be homeschooled while still technically in foster care. I think everyone has agreed that this is what is best for him. It doesn't make the decision an easy one for me to make. I know I have lost a lot of sleep around this.
Little Man has a disability caseworker assigned to him. She will be with him as he ages and will help us get services and will advocate for us. She went to school Monday to shadow him for a few hours. Mostly because she knew we were having issues with the school and wanted some notes on what was triggering him and what kind of support he was getting or not getting. This is going to be used for a crisis plan in order to get funding for a Personal Care Attendant.
And oh boy...she got notes. For the 3 hours, she was there, there are 8 pages of notes. And it outlined, to me, exactly where he triggered, why he triggered and exactly where it went wrong. The biggest takeaway, for me, was that the janitor...the f*ng janitor is the one that regulated him by getting on the floor with him and just talking to him. Not his teacher, not the SPED team, not his Para. The DAMN janitor.
I honestly don't care who got down on the floor but the fact that none of the professionals got on the floor with him (figuratively or literally) is what hurt my heart the most. This completely proved that they do not know who my child is and how to help. Nor did it feel they were making any effort to.
So, the hard times will continue but at least now, I have control of the environment for him and can work with him. We can work at our own pace, take breaks as he needs, and focus on things he's going to need in order to excel. I have no clue what I'm doing. I certainly am out of my comfort zone but I know I have to do what is best for Little Man.
If anyone has expereince with homeschooling, curriculums or other asundery things...SEND HELP!
Lately, it has been hard. Hell, the last couple of months have been hard. And it's not because of any one thing. The biggest thing is that I haven't been able to work a full week of work for MONTHS because of Little Man. Between his therapies, school, and appointments. But the biggest is the amount of mental strain I've been feeling with him and school.
Monday I pulled Little Man from school. I will not be sending him back. This has been building and building. Jay and I have talked about what Little Man's future will look like - education-wise - once his adoption is finalized and we've always leaned towards homeschooling because he just does so much better in small groups or 1-on-1.
Legally, I'm not allowed to homeschool him while he's in foster care. I had planned on enrolling him for the 2019-2020 school year (fall only) in an online school that was considered public school until the adoption was finalized. This is hoping we'd make it until May in his brick and mortar school. But on Monday, I had to pull him. For his mental safety and mine.
We are about 90% done getting approval for him to be homeschooled while still technically in foster care. I think everyone has agreed that this is what is best for him. It doesn't make the decision an easy one for me to make. I know I have lost a lot of sleep around this.
Little Man has a disability caseworker assigned to him. She will be with him as he ages and will help us get services and will advocate for us. She went to school Monday to shadow him for a few hours. Mostly because she knew we were having issues with the school and wanted some notes on what was triggering him and what kind of support he was getting or not getting. This is going to be used for a crisis plan in order to get funding for a Personal Care Attendant.
And oh boy...she got notes. For the 3 hours, she was there, there are 8 pages of notes. And it outlined, to me, exactly where he triggered, why he triggered and exactly where it went wrong. The biggest takeaway, for me, was that the janitor...the f*ng janitor is the one that regulated him by getting on the floor with him and just talking to him. Not his teacher, not the SPED team, not his Para. The DAMN janitor.
I honestly don't care who got down on the floor but the fact that none of the professionals got on the floor with him (figuratively or literally) is what hurt my heart the most. This completely proved that they do not know who my child is and how to help. Nor did it feel they were making any effort to.
So, the hard times will continue but at least now, I have control of the environment for him and can work with him. We can work at our own pace, take breaks as he needs, and focus on things he's going to need in order to excel. I have no clue what I'm doing. I certainly am out of my comfort zone but I know I have to do what is best for Little Man.
If anyone has expereince with homeschooling, curriculums or other asundery things...SEND HELP!
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