23 days of ups and downs
I have been a foster mom for 23 days. Those 23 days have been good, bad and some have been really ugly.
Some of the good ones were days where Little Man and I did absolutely nothing but just be with each other and giggle and explore our connection.
Some of the bad days were because he was angry or sad or just plain scared and didn't know how to deal with those emotions so he acted out.
The really ugly ones haven't been about him at all. Rather, it's about how the system is ugly and cruel and not put in place for the betterment of the child.
Today I was told that he will most likely be removed. Not because he hasn't flourished, built relationships and started healing. But because the family that they will place him with are kin and so won't be paid the daily rate from DCF.
While I knew the chances of him going back to his family where high and I knew that I needed to prepare myself. What I wasn't prepared for was that the system put in place to ensure his safety and growth and protection is the same system that was going to bounce him around to the lowest bidder to make sure they don't have to pay any more for his safety, growth and protection than absolutely necessary.
This is not a dig on social workers. I know they have little to no power over these decisions. I'm angry at the system. How is this any better for the children than the abuse piled on them from other grown-ups in their life?
I knew this day was coming. I knew that I was going to hurt and I do. But I never imagined the anger I would feel.
Some of the good ones were days where Little Man and I did absolutely nothing but just be with each other and giggle and explore our connection.
Some of the bad days were because he was angry or sad or just plain scared and didn't know how to deal with those emotions so he acted out.
The really ugly ones haven't been about him at all. Rather, it's about how the system is ugly and cruel and not put in place for the betterment of the child.
Today I was told that he will most likely be removed. Not because he hasn't flourished, built relationships and started healing. But because the family that they will place him with are kin and so won't be paid the daily rate from DCF.
While I knew the chances of him going back to his family where high and I knew that I needed to prepare myself. What I wasn't prepared for was that the system put in place to ensure his safety and growth and protection is the same system that was going to bounce him around to the lowest bidder to make sure they don't have to pay any more for his safety, growth and protection than absolutely necessary.
This is not a dig on social workers. I know they have little to no power over these decisions. I'm angry at the system. How is this any better for the children than the abuse piled on them from other grown-ups in their life?
I knew this day was coming. I knew that I was going to hurt and I do. But I never imagined the anger I would feel.
Comments
Post a Comment