Fostering The Love In Kansas

So, with all the changes we are going through, it's not just Little Man that is struggling. We've had to change our schedule for me.  I still get to take him to school but I have had to have others pick him up from school and I think I've found him an after school day care.  But it means more change.  I'm struggling to not be there for him after school.  I know it's all for the greater good. But I'm struggling to find a happy rythmn to our schedule.  It's only been a week and I have to remember that things will work out.  I know it's been hard on the two of us and we're both struggling to find that rythmn.  He really strives when there is structure.  We're getting there. My new job is good. I mean, it's super overwhelming and exhausting but it's good.  The insurance is great and it comes with vision and dental.  I don't know when it became so important to me that I have insurance. But the fact that I get paid, get overtime and get

It seems like every week, I'm asking Little Man where something is.  His answer in the past was just to shrug his shoulders but now it seems he's learned "lost it".... Today, I had to be in KC for training, which is normally only about an hour away.  Training was supposed to go until 4 pm.  My mom was going to get Little Man from school and keep him until I got home.  Along with all of this, we had our monthly visit scheduled.  So a lot to deal with on a good day. Well today, it decided to sleet, rain and snow.  So they sent us home early which is good...I wanted to get home.  Our monthly visit was cancelled and it took me almost 3 hours to get home.  I managed to get home in time to get Little Man from school.  And I saw the absolute joy on his face when he saw the snow. But as we started the trek home, I noticed he was shuffling and then I noticed, no shoelace in one shoe.  When I asked where it was - shrug and "lost it".  When I asked why...shrug.  

Here is what I have learned from being a foster mom for 140 days (5 months): 1. This little man that calls me mommy changes almost daily.  Just when I think I've figured out all his quirks, needs, wants and desires, he goes and changes/adapts/wishes for more.  It's exhausting but exhilarating at the same time! 2. For every meltdown we have, there are weeks worth of good times.  This ratio has changed drastically from when he was first placed with me. 3. Little Man is good with change, as long as I prepare him for it.  Not unlike many of us. But the time it takes to get him prepared is long and drawn out. The reverberations of this change is felt for days. 4. Giggles and full on belly laughter is not unusual anymore and that makes me absolutely overjoyed. 5. My Little Man wants nothing more than to be of service to me and others.  We all could learn a lot from him. With this 5 months comes some changes.  I found out recently that Little Man's bio mom will most l

Over Christmas break, I got a call from KU Med Center Childhood Development.  We had an appointment set for March but over break, I got a call that there had been a cancelation and could we come in.  YES!!! So, of course, the day of our appointment was a huge snow storm.  KU Med is an hour away on a good day.  This day, it took us over two hours. And I was totally stressed out. What happened was a total of an hour where they asked me about Little Man and "observed" him.  What I was expecting, was to have something definitive or something I can now assign to him. What I got was that he is NOT autistic.  He's social.  That's what ruled it out.  He makes eye contact, he talks to people, he loves people.  That is what ruled it out, the only thing that ruled it out. I guess, in order to be diagnosed with autism, you have to fill all three criteria.  I don't know what the three criteria are other than the social one. I'm kind of unhappy about it.  Not becaus

I realize that some days 5-year-olds have rough days.  Today was one of the roughest days so far, for Little Man. He woke up in a good mood, we went to school in a good mood.  For all intents and purposes, I thought he would have a good day - like every other school day. Around noon, I received an email from one of his teachers asking if something had happened over the weekend because he was being very disruptive. When I went to pick him up after school, I was pulled into the school and spoke to both of his teachers. He kicked one teacher, tackled another kid in assembly, yelled throughout the day, had to be removed from the assembly and was pretty much a complete a-hole to everyone around him. I made him apologize to the teacher and then we tried to talk about what happened.  Tried being the operative word. Trying to talk to Little Man is like talking into a canyon and getting your own echo back.  He will repeat the last word or two when you talk to him but never answers. I ca

Well, back in December, I left a job that was only part time. I loved it but wasn't exactly happy. And I also knew that in the future, I was going to need benefits that would cover myself but also a child that I hope to eventually adopt. This last week, I interviewed for and was offered a job.  What's interesting is that it's for the fostering agency I work with.  The same one that demanded I take this blog down.  The same one that I feel is failing Little Man. First, I am not a social worker.  I have zero desire to be a social worker.  What I will be doing is supporting social workers.  A lot of what they do is administrative.  I'll be doing that.  So I may attend case plannings, court appearances and even supervise visits between families. I do not think this is going to be an easy job as I am a foster parent.  I have a biased opinion. With that said, I am going to hope that being a foster parent helps me and the clients I'll be dealing with. But the big p