How do we go on?

Back in October, the permanency hearing was continued another 90 days.  Mostly, because I believe that the agency wanted to give bio mom a chance to get more visits in.   We now have visit's every Saturday.    Some I have to take him to the visit. Meaning, I drive an hour, sit for 6 hours, and then drive an hour home.

But the real bummer is that I'm being told that at the hearing in January, it will probably be determined that Little Man will go home.  His GAL completely changed his decision and stated that mom was doing everything asked of her so he was OK with it.  The lawyers are all saying the same thing.

The thing is....there is no bond between his mom and him.  I've actually seen her with him.  She will walk the other two to their car and hug and kiss them but doesn't do the same to my guy.  And he sees me at his mom.  She is his siblings mom.  He has been able to articulate that to me.  I'm his mommy.....that's E and Z's mommy.

What do I do about this?  I want to fight for him. I want him and I'm the only one that sees that she is not interested in him.

My fear is that I'm going to send him back to her and in the long run, he's going to come back in but so much more damaged.  Because I know she can't handle all three of them on her own.  Financially or emotionally.

I am seeing a lawyer in another week.  Not sure what I can do but I want to think that I'm trying everything possible to keep my Little Man from being more damaged than possible.  How can you give up on a child? He's mine.....




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