Fostering The Love In Kansas

I got a call on Monday that Little Man's mom had relinquished rights.  Just. Like. That.   We were going to TPR next week.  She had been saying for a year that she would never relinquish - they were going to have to pry those kids out of her hands through trial.  And she relinquished.  I was stunned.  Because mom has always stuck to her guns and been stubborn about things. I did not expect this.  I sat on that news for about 5 seconds and then started calling anyone and everyone. We are moving to adoption .... I lived in this blissful world where adoption is within my grasp for about 2 hours....and then my worker called me and informed me of all the hoops she feels I'm going to have to jump through as a way to prepare me. Siblings, in our state, are very hard to split through adoption.  My agency is already putting in a request to find an adoptive resource for all three.  So they won't have to split them.  Nevermind th...

It's definitely not the time to start celebrating but things are starting to wind down in the case of Little Man.  His dad relinquished his rights several weeks ago.  I'm both happy and sad about this. Sad because he didn't even try to work the case.  He didn't ask to be in contact in the future. He just walked away.  He genuinely showed no interest in his kids. But I also see the happiness in this because IF he hadn't, we would have had the case drug out for another year.  Little Man would have so much more trauma around his father.  There would have been more behaviors and therapy needed.  I also see that his father knew he could never provide for the three kids.  He has 3 felonies, he was getting clean, and he was in a treatment facility.  He recognized that it was in the kids best interest.  So I respect that. Little Man's mom is refusing to relinquish.  She wants the court to work for the removal of her rights. ...

Here is what I have learned from being a foster parent for 900 days: 1. Adding one more makes a HUGE difference. Both good and bad but I’d never change it for the world. 2. March 7-9 we go to trial to finally finish this long run for Little Man. Termination of mom’s rights. Dad relinquished a few weeks ago and we’re hopeful mom will too. If not, we sit through 3 days of testimony on why she should have her rights terminated. This is both heartbreaking and exhilarating for me. She’s losing 3 kids and my heart breaks for that loss but I’m one huge step closer to making Little Man a Kennedy. 3. Changes come slow and changes come fast. But changes always come and celebrating even the small ones is exciting. 4. I am more and more aware of Little Man’s differences and I am also a lot more aware of my limitations. Asking for help is getting loads easier. 5. The mom title is now much more comfortable and deserving. I am so proud to be called mom by some of the best little h...

Not really but I'm beginning to believe that I'm Chicken Little.  Today is court for Little Man.  We were just at court 3 weeks ago.  The reason we have it again, so soon, is because the parents are supposed to relinquish rights today. I've heard this before.  We've started termination trails twice.  I've had my emotions tossed around.  But I really am tired. I want this to be over. I think we've all come to the conclusion he won't be going back ever.  So, it's not even the thought of that that keeps me awake and emotional.  Today it's just the unknown. But today could make such a difference for us.  Today, we could start a new journey towards adoption. I'm both excited and scared. Excited because I hate this system and I'm ready to be done.  But I'm scared because it'll be done and it'll be just me and him.  And what if I mess him up, what if I hurt him worse, what if I make it worse?  I know I couldn't possibly b...

When you have bio children, if one falls and hurts themselves, you kiss their boo boo and go on with your day. In foster care, we have so many regulations and people watching us.  There are so many things we have to document, we have to share, we have to watch. Even before 8 am today, first blood was drawn.  Mr. T slipped and fell face first.  Busting his lip from the inside.  Mouth full of blood and lots of tears. This has become a very frequent occurrence with Mr. T as he is learning to walk and run and just be a boy. Normal parents wouldn't have a huge amount of anxiety around this type of accident.  But with foster parents, there is documentation, fear of investigation, and even as far as fear of having kids removed. Mr. T was removed from a foster home due to excessive critical incidents before being placed with me and so I have more anxiety than normal due to this.  I probably watch him much closer than I do Little Man.  And I watch Littl...

Today marks me being a foster parent to my Little Man for 2 years. It's hard to believe it's only been 2 years but then also that there is still so much ahead of us. Here is what I have learned being a foster mom for 2 years: 1. The label "mom" was a hard one for me to wear in the beginning because, in my head, I am not a real mom.  But after 2 years, I am Mom.  I wear that label proud.  I announce my label to anyone who listens.  I've worked really hard to have this relationship with Little Man and I am proud of it. I'm thankful that I have been given this opportunity to become the mother I wanted to be; all because of him. 2. Growth is a constant theme for us.  Not only is he growing physically, but his speech, reading, and writing are leaps and bound better than where he was a year ago.  His personality and sense of humor is growing.  And his sense of self is too.  The growth I see in him is amazing. My Little Man 3. I am not pre...

So, I have always wanted a big family.  The idea of gobs of kids running around and being noisy and dirty has never repulsed me.  I love the idea of taking care of people and especially MY people. My heart actually warms with the thought of big family dinners, noise, mess, and just love.  I wanted to be the mother that everyone came over to our house because they would be loved, listened to, and fed.  I wanted my kids to be proud of me as their mother and excited to visit with their families. When I went through the infertility treatments, the thought that I could have multiples with a pregnancy never scared me either because it's my family in one big push.  When that didn't happen, I figured fostering was going to feed that need to feed, love, and (s)mother kids. And it has happened.  I love having two boys.  I love having three bonus kids with the manfriend.  I love working with him and his two teens because I can (s)mother the heck out of t...