Being 5 is hard
This weekend, we did the one thing I have wanted to do since I was licensed to be a foster parent. We got a library card for him. The first couple of weeks I had him, he wouldn't sit through me reading more than a page or two to him. But since he's started school, he's actually asked me to read to him and I could not be happier! I told myself that I would be the "mom" that read a couple of books to her kids every night and I was sad when Little Man didn't take to it. But now, we have been reading every night and he even picked out a few of the books himself.
This weekend was also Halloween. Now Little Man doesn't understand Halloween. We watched cartoons, we read books, we talked about it...but he never really understood it. He got that he was able to wear a costume and that is something he loves to do, but he doesn't get the core concept of the holiday (it seems to be the same with Christmas too). So, while I did get him a costume and he loved to wear it, we never really went door to door for trick or treating.
Instead, I did the bad mom thing and bought a bunch of just crap at the dollar store, packed up a bunch of gift bags and distributed to friends and family for him to do his trick or treating that way. I say, bad mom because there was no candy, just stickers, toys, and bubbles. I did this for 2 reasons: 1. He is seriously affected by sugar and takes forever to come down from it and 2. I certainly don't need candy.
He never knew the difference and seemed to love getting his stuff. Especially since I put a few hot wheels trucks in a couple of the bags. You thought that these little things wouldn't make a difference but to him, it did.
Course, every house we went to he attempted to walk in rather than just stand and get his treats. So I knew I had made the right decision to not go door to door. It would have just been more work for me. Not that that should dictate what we do but let's be honest. It's just me...I need to narrow the scope on all we do so I know I can manage it.
Then came along Sunday. We went to bed Saturday night a very tired little boy and well, Sunday was a whole different story. Little Man seemed to wake up in a bad mood and a completely different little boy. And because he can't tell me what he needs or wants or what's bothering him, we were at odds with each other. He was defiant, he was angry, he ignored me, he hit me, he ran away, he shut down.
So Sunday was mostly spent in the same house but in different rooms. He stayed in his room (by my urging) and I cleaned and did laundry. I tried a couple of times to talk to him, but all I got out of him was for him to repeat the last word that I said. I'd ask him if he wanted to help me clean and he'd just say "clean" and so on. He looked like he was on the verge of tears all day. I'd pick him up and talk to him, give him hugs and kisses, but he had checked out.
And most of the day he just sat on his floor and didn't really engage with his toys. Although at one point, he was tearing things up and throwing things and I asked him to stop. He ignored me and I put him in timeout. He didn't cry, he didn't scream, he just laid in his bed and stared at the ceiling.
How do you break through that wall? The wall of anger and sadness and just defense?
You don't...I have to realize that I have to just help him through those moments, help him climb over that wall when he's ready and know that I am on the other side is waiting for him.
 |
| Had to start reading when we drove home |
Instead, I did the bad mom thing and bought a bunch of just crap at the dollar store, packed up a bunch of gift bags and distributed to friends and family for him to do his trick or treating that way. I say, bad mom because there was no candy, just stickers, toys, and bubbles. I did this for 2 reasons: 1. He is seriously affected by sugar and takes forever to come down from it and 2. I certainly don't need candy.
He never knew the difference and seemed to love getting his stuff. Especially since I put a few hot wheels trucks in a couple of the bags. You thought that these little things wouldn't make a difference but to him, it did.
Course, every house we went to he attempted to walk in rather than just stand and get his treats. So I knew I had made the right decision to not go door to door. It would have just been more work for me. Not that that should dictate what we do but let's be honest. It's just me...I need to narrow the scope on all we do so I know I can manage it.
Then came along Sunday. We went to bed Saturday night a very tired little boy and well, Sunday was a whole different story. Little Man seemed to wake up in a bad mood and a completely different little boy. And because he can't tell me what he needs or wants or what's bothering him, we were at odds with each other. He was defiant, he was angry, he ignored me, he hit me, he ran away, he shut down.
So Sunday was mostly spent in the same house but in different rooms. He stayed in his room (by my urging) and I cleaned and did laundry. I tried a couple of times to talk to him, but all I got out of him was for him to repeat the last word that I said. I'd ask him if he wanted to help me clean and he'd just say "clean" and so on. He looked like he was on the verge of tears all day. I'd pick him up and talk to him, give him hugs and kisses, but he had checked out.
And most of the day he just sat on his floor and didn't really engage with his toys. Although at one point, he was tearing things up and throwing things and I asked him to stop. He ignored me and I put him in timeout. He didn't cry, he didn't scream, he just laid in his bed and stared at the ceiling.
How do you break through that wall? The wall of anger and sadness and just defense?
You don't...I have to realize that I have to just help him through those moments, help him climb over that wall when he's ready and know that I am on the other side is waiting for him.
Comments
Post a Comment