56 Days List

Here is what I have learned from being a foster mom for 56 days (8 weeks!!!):

1. While I don't subscribe to the gender roles necessarily, Little Man is a boy through and through. He wants to be dirty, he wants to make lots of noise, and he really has zero issue with putting his fingers in his nose. He's gross and dirty and smelly (oh lord the smells).

2. I struggle with calling myself a Mom and Little Man my son. But the more mom's I talk to make me realize that just because I didn't pop him out doesn't mean I'm not a mom.

3. I found myself standing around last week with a group of mom's and I was a part of this group. I could exchange stories and ask for advice. I'm trying to not cry about this but I have wanted to be a mom for awhile and I am...I'm Little Man's mommy. Thank you, ladies, for that. 

4. While I thought it was pretty awesome that he calls me mommy...the best thing was when he told me he loved me without prompting.

5. I am not the only clueless mom out there and that is so incredibly reassuring. To know that I'm not alone and I'm surrounded by moms that are more than willing to help. Just awe-inspiring.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Approval

Image
Approval is a funny thing.  I don't want to think I need anyone's approval to live my life but in the foster world, approval is everything. And in adoption, there are so many things that require approval that day to day life is never normal. Approval for taking him out of state, approval to enroll him in sports, approval to get him on meds. In adoption, approval is everything.  We have to do a home study, negotiate subsidies, get approval and then start legal proceedings. In my state, adoptive resources have to go through a BIS (Best Interest Staffing) with the agency and DCF in order to be approved to adopt the child.  They look over the facts of the case, the length of time the child has been in placement, the needs of the child, and the overall stability of the adoptive resource. Today I was informed today that I was approved to adopt Little Man.  Little Man is going to be mine. We are getting closer and closer...
Read more

The B Word

Now that we are in the homestretch with the adoption of Little Man and going through the process of getting him set up with SSI and disability services, I get a lot of emails and phone calls.  Most of the time, it's just me being copied on correspondence between agencies. And most of the time, it's stuff over my head but I appreciate being kept in the loop. There has been a lot of terminologies being applied to Little Man. Some of them I have heard before, some are new.  There are some that are not news to me but some that are.  And then there are those that rankle me.  Get my blood boiling. The one that got me this morning was the B word. Little Man was described as being a burden.  He was being approved for services because he was going to be a burden on me and on society. And I saw RED... My child is not a burden.  He will never be a burden.  He's a lot of things but never a burden. He is a blessing .  He made me a mom and learn things about myself that I never k
Read more

My concerns confirmed

Image
So I was asked by Little Man's teacher to meet with her after school today.  Only 3 days in and I'm being brought in...I honestly had a stabbing moment of fear that I forgotten something in his backpack or had done something wrong...like I was being called into the principle's office. But it turns out that my initial concerns with putting Little Man in kindergarten are confirmed.  After 3 days, his teacher is not sure he's mentally capable of being in kindergarten. He just doesn't understand what is being asked of him in class, he can't comprehend what they are doing.  He just isn't there. He is struggling and it's just stressing him out.  Which I see...he has huge dark circles under his eyes, he's angry and he's tired. My options are now limited.  I've called to ask the principle for a meeting. I have to call the group that does assessments and request them to reassess him rather than go off an old IEP. But since he's 5, it&#
Read more