Just like that...it's over

9/24/2014

I have to admit that I hoped this wouldn't actually happen.  That something would happen and fate would change the course of actions set in motion.

October 1st, Little Man will be moved to Johnson County and into a kinship home.  I am given a week to prepare him.  But how do you prepare someone who just doesn't understand?  I'll ask him how his day was and every time it's "yes."

Did you eat lunch? "yes"
Did you take a nap? "yes" (no he didn't)
Did you poopy on the toilet? "yes"
Did you ride in a helicopter? "yes"
Did you see a monkey? "yes"

Not that Little Man isn't a smart dude, he just doesn't understand the basic things.  He doesn't see things the way most people see them.  How do you make someone like that understand that he won't come back home when he goes to visitation next week?  And how do I deal with knowing all of this and not be affected by it?

So I asked to have him removed on Monday.  This sounds so callous and mean but I have surgery on Tuesday and it would be more convenient for everyone if he were to be moved before Tuesday. And it helps my heart to have him ripped out like ripping off a band-aid off instead of just slowly peeling him out of my life.

I knew he was going to leave, eventually.  But I'm not ready. Is it bad that a part of me hopes he makes life difficult for the next family and they want to have him removed and he can come back to me.  I know it's not possible.  But I want to hope.

Comments

  1. CelesteSeptember 25, 2015 at 8:24 AM

    I completely understand your want to get him back. Is there any way you could try to move forward with the adoption process?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Shan KennedySeptember 25, 2015 at 11:55 AM

    Unfortunately, bio mom never signed over rights let alone even the right to get his hair cut. I have no legal rights to him.

    ReplyDelete

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